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I have to admit it-- I'm a phony. Or, at least I feel like one...

I've been drawing for as long as I can remember. I have clear memories of drawing R2-D2 and C-3PO and TIE Fighters and X-Wings after having seen Star Wars.

From there I discovered comics and began creating my own stories and characters.

My whole life has been about creating art. But I don't feel like an artist.

I look at the people here and the people around me in the "industry" and I just see amazing, raw, jaw-dropping talent that I feel I could never genuinely create myself.

It seems so easy and natural to everyone else, and I have to admit that I'm envious.

When I draw something-- even after having been doing this my whole life (and professionally for 15 years)-- I still constantly struggle with everything.

Faces, expressions, clothing, poses, lighting, anatomy, perspective... I struggle my way through it all. Well, in actuality, I feel like I'm faking my way through it all. Like I'm not a "real" artist like everyone else. No, I'm just faking it good enough to maybe, just maybe, fool everyone else into thinking I'm one, too.

I wish I could be a "real" artist. I wish it would just flow. I wish I could sit down and draw something and not have to struggle and erase and feel frustration and disappointment from the minute I start working on something.

Alright, boo-hoo, poor me, right?

Granted, there are those times when things do flow. When they do come to me. When I don't have to work as hard. And it's like a miracle when it happens. It's a complete gift when I draw something and actually like it. (Usually I just settle for not hating it.)

So, yeah, I feel like a phony. A fake. But, I'm just gonna keep doing it anyway. I'm going to keep learning from my mistakes and continuing to teach my self everything I can. (Yes, I'm an all self-taught artist.) I will keep striving to create pieces that I might actually like and be proud of.

I will continue to try and be a "real" artist. And I hope you will all continue to inspire me.

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